Watch for these new marketing campaigns coming this fall.
Tattoo Funerals
For those who have spent a lifetime proudly tattooing their bodies, a new funeral option will be available. Your nude body will be tastefully encased between two plexiglas panels in a revolving casket. Mourners will be able to appreciate the life work in tattoos of the beloved. A descriptive map will be available.
FLOTUS Trophy Wife Doll Collection
No matter the results of the election, Mattel plans to market a new FLOTUS Trophy wife Doll with accompanying outfits such as the safari outfit, the Inauguration gown, Air Force One flight suit and the Lincoln Bedroom lounging wear. If this is successful, a robotic FLOTUS Trophy Wife Doll will follow.
The Bachelorette
In order to boost ratings, the next season of the Bachelorette will feature the traditional collection of handsome horny hunks. But this season all of the male contestants will have survived COVID-19. This will add a new level of drama and pathos to the popular competition, testing the manliness of the man and the compassion of the bachelorette.
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