COVID lockdown

 Why should I be anxious about the COVID lockdown?

I get a TV visit from Joe Namath at least 30 times a day.

I get my free booklet on mesothelioma.

I dream that Kelly Clarkson may suddenly appear in my kitchen.

I can buy hundreds of useful gadgets with free shipping and a second one at no additional cost.

I have at hand a law firm for every possible disease and vehicle crash.

I can wear the best, most breathable and flattering underwear.

I can choose between so many car insurance companies, all saving me the most money.

I can grow esteem-boosting hair without leaving my couch.

I can buy a new car online without ever leaving home.

I have the time at home to rejuvenate my skin, eyelids and eyebrows.

I can make a statement with my chin.

I can learn to call all the illnesses and medical conditions by their nicknames.

Even after COVID subsides, I may never go out again.