Sexual harassment

Every man on the planet who has reached puberty understands the evolutionary urge and its powerful chemistry. Maybe not in those terms, but at least in their pants. Some men--by discipline, personal commitment, religious belief, fear or other means--can keep it in their pants. Other men--by power, privilege, wealth, brutishness, weak character, coercion or other means--can’t.

Men can understand the actions of sexual predators and may sometimes have sexual fantasies of that kind. Keeping them as fantasies separates the man from the predator. 

Hitting on women at the office, trying seduction, using power to coerce sex and rape are all levels of moral weakness, sexual immaturity and cowardice. To say such men are dickheads let’s them off too easy.

What they think is their love wand is really just a personal pleasure stick. Maybe every office building needs to have a set of masturbation pods where men can jerk off and get it out of their systems and leave women alone.

Still, make an assessment for yourself of the content of the media produced by the Hollywood moguls and actors. How much lives out their own fantasies? How much meets the desires of our own fantasies? How much of it affirms the very behavior of their own sexual lives.

Many women and a few men are courageously are bringing this systemic behavior out into the daylight. It remains to be seen as to whether the structure will crumble or in the end just shake a little.

Dyscreenotopia

Beware. They are everywhere. Movies, TV, video games, cell phones, gas station pumps, highways. classrooms, lobbies, kids toys and more. I’m talking about screens.

We live in a world of dyscreenotopia. While they inform us and entertain us, they also intend to manipulate us and seduce us and make us believe that what we only want is what really need.

The screens are full of action, color, sound, beautiful people, cute cartoon characters, all grabbing for our attention. And that would not necessarily be all bad. But how do we assess this visual flood; how do we take it on with a critical eye.

The truth is, we usually don’t. In a world that is increasingly visual, we get no training in the visual language. We don’t know how to interpret these images for ourselves. We don’t learn how to deconstruct them for the intent beneath the message. We don’t get how we are being manipulated. We can’t discern. 

And in most cases, that’s just fine with the makers.

What is art?

What is art?

A vessel for meaning
A passion if not an obsession
Thoughts turned into images
A conversation with the world
A conversation about the world
An image to make ideas endure
A language
A road with many forks
A process with big and small risks
A journey of self-discovery
Sometimes bleeding
A cultural necessity
A product of culture that transforms culture
Digesting the world and giving it back
A solitary practice
A gift
A personal vision
A cultural barometer
A voice from the edge

And that’s just a start

Weapons

From the smallest band of rebels to the largest global forces.
From the streets of North America to the parade grounds of North Korea.
From child soldiers to professional mercenaries.
From the jungles of Africa to the deserts of Afghanistan.
From the Gaza Strip to the Las Vegas Strip.
From brutal insurgents to defenders of freedom.
From religious zealots to heathen monsters.
From the guy on your block to the soldier who killed your son.

Any one of these can have easy access to military grade weapons in any quantity they want. How is this possible? Who profits from the global trade in weapons?
How can peace be so easily and so regularly be held at gunpoint?

The global weapons trade is never discussed in the context of conflict. Why? The profiteers are never named. Why?

Initiation rites

In many indigenous cultures an initiation rite for its male youth introduces them to adulthood and its responsibilities, sexual and communal. It is clear then that they are men, and they understand their responsibilities as men in their society.

Contemporary society is much more complicated than such tribal societies. If we look across the globe at instances of sexual predation such as in ISIS, Boko Haram, sex slavery, on college campuses, arranged marriages, sexual misconduct by religious, and countless examples of sexual attacks on young women, an argument could be made that some form of predatory sexual behavior is become the initiation into manhood in contemporary society.

Ask yourself. When, by default, we put “initiation rites” into the hands of media, entertainment and corporate marketing, what do we get?

Turns into love

In life, If you're lucky and work at it, love will turn into love will turn into love will turn into love will turn into love.

Sex and men

A solution for male sexual transgressions. Make all male sexual predators wear a tight fitting penis bracelet which sets off a warning signal at the start of an erection.
Of course, I’m not serious about this because, even if it worked, it would only solve the problem after the fact.

We live in a male dominated society. That may be culture or nurture or evolution or power, but it is a fact. Women, even as their impact on society worldwide increases, still make steps forward only haltingly and unevenly. They can address issues of glamorization, dress, media images and stereotypes, work and motherhood, but it’s men who must make the real changes.

And I mean moguls, CEOs, thugs. adolescents, farmers, cheaters, gentlemen, academics, Hollywood power players, pornographers, fathers, uncles, artists, mechanics, athletes—all of us men. We can’t easily stop the marketers, TV and film producers, media giants, sex salesmen and entertainers who swamp us in sex messages.

We can resist though. We can become men who respect women and, in turn, respect ourselves.

Just out

New titles in bookstores everywhere:

Buckeroo Bromance

Rebel Arousing: A White Supremecist Love Story

The Young Adult’s Guide to Hollywood Sex Scandals

Fifty Shades of Pink

Rap for Dummies

Twitts on Twats: The Collected Twitters of Donald Trump

Stimulus

Stimulus. Hard on. That’s evolution’s gift to men. But like all our human urges, the sexual urge must be contained so it never harms others. Any act of sexual harassment from unwanted touching to rape is unconscionable, and the perpetrator must expect that there are consequences.

But whether by celebrities or common folk, these acts are social and cultural acts as well. What are the consequences when the laws are written with a strong male gender bias? What are the consequences when a young white male only gets a slap on the wrist for rape because his life has so much potential? What are the consequences when Hollywood elite ignore gross sexual behavior because they lack courage or make a trade off for money and career?

TV and movies treat sexual misconduct as trivial and even acceptable. Dress is inappropriate for the workplace but sexually provocative among the beautiful people who occupy the screen. This is what viewers appear to want. In clothing and behavior we’ve sexualized young people, especially girls.

Advertising and marketing may be the worst culprits. Models are carefully selected for their sexual appeal in ads for fashion, cosmetics, hair products, clothing and more. ED products, alcoholic beverages, soda pop and even Mr. Clean evoke sex to sell. Makers of these products essentially want customers to get a hard on for their products.

Any form of sexual pleasure that doesn’t harm others or oneself is acceptable in our culture. But when we look at individual cases like Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and Bill O’Reilly, we have to realize that we are all victims of the culture we have created.

Chronic depression

Chronic depression is a killer. It kills hope. It kills the joy in life. It kills libido. It kills relationships. It kills the person alive within you. It sometimes kills you.

Chronic depression should never be a cause for shame for you or family. It’s not a matter of personal weakness. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, and you are no more capable of willing it to be better than you would be of willing your diabetes to go away or your thyroid to balance itself.

Chronic depression is not easy to conquer, but it is worth the work. Medicines and therapies are out there that are proven to work. They are not always magical, but they are there. The effort gives you back yourself and the pleasure you find in life and in others.

How do I know this? I struggled with chronic depression for more than 50 years. And I’m damn happy I finally beat it. 

Good luck.

The true...

The true fool is best known for his wisdom.

The true fighter is best known for his restraint.

The true student is best known for his curiosity.

The true groom is best known for his anxiety.

The true clown is best known for his humanity.

The true gentleman is best known for his compassion.

Teaching love

Love is a many splendored thing.
Love conquers all.
Love is the answer.
Love one another.
Love. Love. Love.
We are expected to learn to read, write and do math. We are expected to learn history and science. All to be successful in life.
Is love any less important?

Who can teach us to love? Religions? They are constantly at war with one another or locked into out-of-touch dogma. Our families? Yes, if we’re lucky enough to have a family around us capable of teaching and modeling love. Life experience? We often just muddle through and maybe figure out love only too late.

We struggle with problems both personally and globally that would have much better resolutions if we really knew what love was and how to practice it.

So how come we teach Medieval history but not love? Organic chemistry but not love? Computer coding but not love.? The history of rock and roll but not love? For one, love is harder to teach and to learn than any of those. 

Right now, to try seriously to teach love is an essential task.

The First Family

It’s a gusher of criticism, humor, tweeting, frustration and vitriol that comes in response to Donald Trump. But when a comparison is made between the Trumps and the Obamas, the Trump pair becomes almost a parody of what the Obamas taught us to expect of a First Family.

No intellect and little compassion show in any of the speeches or tweets in Trump own words. His unmanaged words are clumsy, adolescent, mean-spirited, narcissistic utterings. He is fully unpresidential and dangerously unpredictable.

Melania, sad to say, appears more a trophy than a mate. She stands beside Donald. And stands and stands and stands, most times looking like she was on a fashion runway.

Three more years of this is like the USA standing still or backing up as the world moves forward. Laughing wildly at late night show Trump jokes no longer has any real meaning. We must wake up and pressure our legislators, talk to people, educate ourselves. Let action be the sign that we give a damn.

Free rap lyrics

The seven deadly sins

Was a Medieval obsession

But today we take them

As our cultural possession

Me, I am the best

I ain’t got time for the rest

I’ll be first at the finish

‘Cause you, I will diminish

We treat love like it’s treasure

But we make it our own pleasure

We say you are my brother

Then we say we hate the other

Me, I am the best

I ain’t got time for the rest

I’ll be first at the finish

‘Cause you, I will diminish

We give the man the power

And he turns our dreams all sour

He gathers up the riches

And makes us all his bitches

Me, I am the best

I ain’t got time for the rest

I’ll be first at the finish

‘Cause you, I will dimish

Sound bite

I was recently at an awards and recognition dinner, Listening to the speeches, I realized that we’ve been de facto trained to speak and listen in marketing sloganeering. (Make America great again.) We only have the attention span for the sound bite. Bites might be tasty, but they aren’t very substantial. 

News coverage reduces a speech to a sound bite. Commercials reduce content to empty slogans. (Just do it.) Tweets and captions and headlines all make things easy for us to digest and acceptable for us to skip any real critical assessment.

As a result, we get into the habit of flinging catch phrases back and forth at one another. (It is what it is.). It’s like stones skimming off the surface of the water.

We are a culture in grave need of serious discussion on so many issues and in need of the willingness to give that our time and critical attention. No serious problem can be solved with a slogan. It’s we who must determine how we hear and what we hear in the in the tsunami of advertising, media and slick wordsmithing.

Real Consequences?

Of course LSU knew what was going on in its fraternities. But the status quo must be maintained. A hazing death and then it’s time to launch a “thorough investigation.”
What do you think the real consequences will be?

Of course the NCAA knew what was going among high profile, big money basketball programs. But reputations and winning programs must be protected. A cheating and corruption scandal and then it’s time to do a big high-profile investigation.                                                                                               What do you think the real consequences will be?

Of course the movie industry knew about Harvey Feinstein’s sexual misconduct. But careers and investments must come first. An expose gets into print and people are shocked, victims appear and heads roll.                                                                                                                                                What do you think the real consequences will be?

Of course Congressmen knew about the corrupt transgressions of their pals. Keep quiet because elections are coming up soon. The corruption story breaks, then the Ethics Committee goes into action mode.                                                                                                                                                       What do you think the real consequences will be?

When money talks, this is how instaitutions listen.

LGBTQ

Why is the world so threatened by LGBTQ folks? Is it because they might breathe on your children and change their sexual orientation? Is it out of envy because they put on much better parades? Is it because they are having a good time in their bedrooms at night? Is it because they might hoist the rainbow flag over the Alabama state capitol? Is it because you fear their creative potential? Is it because you can’t put love above dogma?

We have lots more to be concerned about with the Harvey Weinsteins, Donald Trumps and Bill Cosbys of the world. Studies show that up to 50% of heterosexual adolescents and young adults have had a homosexual encounter. But when you push people to the margins, they function like they are the margins, and then they get condemned because they behave like those on the margins. LGBTQ folks belong in the mainstream where they can fully contribute their energy to the life of us all.

Rationality

Rationality is a veneer.

Rationality is what people expect of others.

Rationality is what we put our hope in.

Rationality is what we use to cover up absurdity.

Rationality is not the stuff of dreams or myths.

Rationality is not always fun.

Rationality is only half the story.

Rationality gives access to only part of the universe.

Rationality is indispensible.

Dragon

When's the last time you slayed a dragon?

Confession

The Huichol Indians of Mexico make a long trek pilgrimage each year to renew creation. Among the rituals that are a part of this journey, one is the ritual of confession. Each person in the group ties a knot in a string for each sin. The sins are confessed openly, even infidelity in front of the wife. After the confession, the string is thrown into the fire (Father Fire) and the person is cleansed to be able to continue the pilgrimage.

This ritual confession seems strange to some. But look at contemporary America. On talk shows, people bare their disgusting behaviors in front of strangers in the studio audience and strangers in the TV audience. Money for them, money for the host and money the station. Humiliation more than healing.

Then there’s crude and abusive behavior known to the inner circle for years. Up it pops as a result of the courage of victims. But there are no shamans or priests or heal. It’s the lawyers and the reputation managers who jump in.

Recently a young man wrote and performed a rap song about suicide. He delivered it in a staged spectacle with lots of bling, lights and even some folks who were victims of depression lining the stage in similar outfits. The chorus line?

What does it say about our culture when the quiet ritual of healing becomes a glitzy stage show or a sleazy talk show or a public fall from grace?

"The Vietnam War"

Ken Burns’ “The Vietnam War” continues to eat at me. Does every President need a war? Does history in any way guide the decision to go to war? How many of those who support a war have a loved one on the front lines?

Imagine a big scale. On one side is principles, power, politics and national interests. On the other side is the pile of bloody, lifeless, mangled bodies and psyches destroyed by war. How does the scale tip?

Is cowardice continuing a war to save political face? Is courage the act of saying enough is enough? These questions have plagued humans for generations upon generations. “The Vietnam War” brings them clearly and forcefully to us again

Keep it in your pants

As I've been generally successful in keeping it in my pants, I've always wondered what drives men like Donald Trump, John Kennedy, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Tim Murphy, Bill Clinton, countless John Doe's and the parade of historical figures to commit sexual indiscretions from harassment to rape. Power? Arrogance? Evolution? Lust? Privilege? Lack of self-control? What? Probably a soup of most of these things.

But more and more such men are outed and called to task, even by other men. Sometimes it's only a slap in the wrist as in the case of the "promising" young college athlete convicted of rape. The average guy will get jail time while the privileged will simply fall from grace.

Still, there seems to be a growing appreciation for integrity and personal responsibility in sexual behavior.

Burn the flag

If you’re going to burn the flag, burn the flag when it appears on all those newspaper ads that want to sell you mattresses and clothes and appliances.
If you are going to burn the flag, but the flag worn on all those peoples’ asses.
If you are going to burn the flag, burn the flag used by all those celebrities for their vanity promo shots.
If you are going to burn the flag, burn the flag out of thoughtful and committed political protest.
Don’t go buy beer during the national anthem. Don’t check your phone during the national anthem. If you think the flag and the anthem mean something, make it mean something.

Sheep

Is it conceivable to imagine that 435 educated individuals acting on their consciences with the best in mind for the people they represent would wind up looking and acting like the current Congress of the United States. Personally, I don’t think so. Rather I see them in most cases as men and women who are party sheep engaging in ideological masturbation. A lot is spewed out, but there is no chance for anything to be born from it.

The party lets no sheep leave the flock. The members suck at the party and corporate money tit. When we go to vote, we look at party affiliation because there is no way to get easy access to a candidate’s character, qualifications, judgment and leadership abilities—the things that would come up in any job interview.

So in this climate, is it possible to imagine that anything—equal access to quality education, mental heath care, medical care, infrastructure, gun violence, cyber security, foreign affairs, and much more—will ever be effectively addressed?

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Bump stocks

I know one of my big dreams is to experience the feel of rapid fire shooting. After all, I’m and American. And if the Navy Seals can do it, why can’t I?

Studies show that as mass shootings increase, new guns laws at the state level actually have looser restrictions on gun ownership. This odd, but certainly no more odd than the sudden agreement among Republicans, Democrats and the NRA on outlawing bump stocks. For the Democrats this is a small step than means hope. For the Republicans and the NRA this is just a small concession to make it appear they have some compassion. 

Such token steps won’t mean much until the macho, I’m-ready-for the-government-takeover, get-off-my-land-or-I’ll-kill-you attitude of Americans can be changed.

Republicans and gun control

The Republican arguments that gun control could not prevent tragedies like the Las Vegas massacre are nonsensical. In fact, who will be such a predator, we an do everything reasonable to reduce access to the kind and quantity of weapons he possessed. 

To express grief over the deaths of school children, concert goers, police officers and other innocent citizens and then do nothing is nothing more than a pathetic façade to cover the shameful attachment to the NRA and its money.

There is nothing in sensible gun control that compromises the 2nd Amendment. And the argument that unrestricted access to guns is necessary to prevent any government confiscation off weapons shows no faith in a government that has withstood a civil war, mass demonstrations, riots, a presidential resignation and assassinations holds no water.

Violence as a language

In contemporary America we have to acknowledge that violence is a form of communication, whether it’s rape, domestic violence, bullying or murder. TV and the movies disguise violence as entertainment and show us how to use this language. Guns are accessible to 5-year-olds to kill themselves and to mass murderers in any form and quantity they want.

Violence is glorified in football, boxing and mixed martial arts. Speak tough not speak compassion. And women are beginning to take on these roles. We’ve become numbed to this language of violence. But look around you and listen, and you will see how prevalent it is.

It’s the America we have and the America we all must take responsibility for.

Las Vegas

Today’s New York Times plots the more than weekly mass killings in America from 2016 to this most recent tragedy in Las Vegas. After you get over the sadness and shock of Las Vegas, you realize the insanity of gun violence in America. Mass shootings, gangs, suicides, murders, guns in the hands of mentally unstable individuals, the USA leads the industrialized world…by far. If our motto were,”A gun for every citizen,” we’ve already reached that.

The 2nd Amendment has already been stripped of its militia clause. (What are the responsibilities of a gun owner under that clause anyway?). As the number of innocent children and adults murdered by guns piles up, legislators who oppose sensible gun control can no longer claim a stance on principle. They are so deeply in the pockets of the NRA they stink of the smell.

Now this is the spot where we all spew all the curse words we need to. OK, go.
(                                                                                                                              ).
Now we do something. S O M E T H I N G.

10 totally useless questions

What percentage of Kim Kardashian’s total body weight is botox and silicon?

Did Mozart have chest hair?

Are there any repeat winners of the Hair Stylist of the Year contest?

How many athletes actually get athlete’s foot?

How many celebrities have had eyelid rejuvenation?

How many dogs actually have gold teeth?

How many relationships have been saved by effective underarm deodorants?

How many barn paintings currently exist in the world?

How many freerange chickens have nicknames?

How many people actually don’t give a damn about the sex lives of famous individuals?