16 year old boy

 Sixteen-year-old boy feels he needs some advice and guidance.

 

So he goes to his grandma.

She says: Women love men, but they never trust them.

 

He goes to his grandpa.

He says: Buddy, when you get to my age you realize that everything gets stiff but the most important thing.

 

He goes to his dad.

His dad says: Your mother’s the smart one, go ask her.

 

He goes to his mother.

His mother says: Be like your dad at this best, not at his worst.

 

He goes to his teacher:

She says: Always work hard and never believe everything your teachers tell you.

 

He goes to his priest.

His priest says: Make you confession first and then we can talk.

 

He goes to his coach.

His coach says: Do 100 pushups.

H C #14

 Holy Church of Get Off Your Ass and Do Something

Sermonette #14

 

Mother Teresa is sitting on the couch drinking a beer watching a couple of WNBA games.

 

MLK, Jr. took a few months off to vacation on the beach.

 

Rosa Parks stayed at home on the couch with nachos and guacamole binge watching TV instead of taking the bus.

 

The BLM protestors didn’t show up for the march because they had the cold brews and Doritos ready for the big game.

 

Of course they didn’t. So you get your ass out there and do something.

 

This will be last Sermonette for a while. We are very busy building our new, spacious crystal palace mega church. It will have state-of-the-art sound systems and

video production facilities. All seats will be fitted with ejection capability so at the end of the sermon, pastor presses a button to send each congregant off to action. Donations are welcome to the building fund, but no donations under $1000 will be accepted.

God bless your blessed asses.

RNC

  Well, the Republican National Convention is over. If you watched, you were fed lies and fear mongering by beautiful people in full spectacle mode.

 

You saw crowds in direct defiance of COVID guidelines, while America continues to lead the world in COVID deaths.

 

You saw the glorious messiah Donald Trump praised by his crew of sycophants.

 

You saw the prediction an America of fear and darkness under Biden, with no acknowledgment of the America of fear and darkness created by Trump.

 

You saw everything-but-the-kitchen-sink desperation wrapped up in the American flag.

 

You saw the rehash of MAGA without the recognition that Trump’s America is fiercely divided, lacks international respect, is struggling with COVID, is still plagued by racism, has an economy in free fall and a government  rife with incompetence and corruption.

 

This is what you saw on TV. Then you looked out your window on the real world.

How you react to this tragic dissonance is crucial.

 

 

 

One hundred seasons

 Near one hundred seasons are gone

As if in a breath

The mantel clock

Meticulously ticked every second while

Me, too distracted to notice

I look in the mirror, a thousand faces later

I wear the one much worse for wear

You as well. Still I’ve seen inside you

Where the real beauty is

 

Memories get scrumbled in the brain

We shouldn’t trust them

But we hold them tight

Like our first teddy bear

Or like Mother as she passes over

Because that’s all we have

 

No, but that’s a lie

We have a lake of feelings

That we dammed up

And let out just a few tears at a time

And quickly wiped away

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RNC Awards Ceremony

 Republican National Convention…So far

AWARDS CEREMONY

 

Best Speech to Hear Himself Speaking: Donald Trump, Jr.

 

Best Total Bullshit Speech: Tiffany Trump

 

Best Expressive Speech through Thick Makeup: Michelle Guilfoyle

 

Best Entrance in the Manner of Putin: Donald Trump

 

Best Runway Entrance: Melania Trump

 

Best outfit: Melania’s pseudo safari/military suit

 

Best Fuck the Hatch Act Performance: Donald Trump

 

Best Get the out the Jewish Vote: Mike Pompeo

 

Best Effort to Act like a Bunch of Partying Adolescents: The audience in the Rose Garden

 

Best Idea for Events Like This: Make every speakers take an oath to tell the truth before any speech

the messages

 Though the Democrats have not said it, my belief is that what underlies their message is love and compassion in the way they want to govern. This means not backing off from injustice and social problems.

 

The message of the Republicans is power and control in the way they want to govern. Their message is fear of losing privilege.

 

Donald Trump has recently been called the savior of the Western world, a moniker as ludicrous as it sounds and fraught with delusions of power. Of course, my choice of savior would be Jesus—the model of love and compassion.

 

John Dean, an operative of Richard Nixon, recently pointed out that Trump fully knows how to use fear to manipulate and control people. It’s an age old strategy employed by every dictator in history.

 

Supporting Donald Trump is accepting this delusion of some unreal America, stoking the fears of his followers and locking up their minds and hearts.

 

Dear readers

 Dear Republicans,

Before you vote on November 3, ask yourself these questions.

--Have Donald Trump’s documented 20,000 lies made your America great again?

--Have the Donald’s indicted and convicted friends made your America great again?

--Has his cozy relationship with Kim and Vlad made your America great again?

--Have his efforts to make the rich richer made your America great again?

--Has his poor leadership through the COVID crisis made your America great again?

--Has his failure to build the border wall made your America great again?

--Has his cabinet of corrupt politicos made your American great again?

--Has his mean spirited tweeting and bullying made your America great again.

--Has America’s fall in respect and status in the world made your America great again?

--Has this economy made your America great again?

--Has his expensive regular weekend trips to play golf made your America great again?

--Has his treatment of immigrants made your American great again?

--Has his bungling of international negotiations made your America great again?

--Has a government with no concern for compassion or justice made your America great again?

Before you vote, look at the America we have, not the America he conjures up.

 

BLACK LIVES MATTER

 BLACK

LIVES

MATTER

 

I have seen this sign up everywhere. Now I want signs telling what actions taken show that BLACK LIVES MATTER.

 

For me, it becomes:

 

LIVE

WHAT 

MATTERS

HC #13

 Holy Church of Get Off Your Ass and Do Something

Sermonette #13

 

How many pictures of Jesus show him sitting on his ass?

Not very many. Even when he was, he was teaching the children.

Or he was busy walking on water, traveling the regions around Jerusalem, preaching before the crowds.

He never ate a potato chip.

He never spent a Sunday on the couch watching football.

He was never seen spending the day at the Mall of Jerusalem.

 

You probably can’t walk on water. But you can preach to the crowds.

Ready, set, go.

America the Boobyful

 America the Boobyful

 

The My Pillow Pharmaceutical Company

The armed-on-their-front-porch anxious couple

The woman wearing the “Donald Trump can grab my pussy” T-shirt

The anti-mask revelers

The Trump cabinet of corrupt sycophants

Those who think a Trump tweet is official government policy

The maskless crowd at a Trump rally

The campus and frat house party animals

Betsy DeVos, Wilbur Ross, Don Jr. and Eric

The testers and ingesters of Clorox and hydroxychloroquine

 

Feel free to add to this list

 

Art is...

 Art is what artists offer you as art.

 

If you have no need for beauty, art is not for you.

 

If you’re comfortable with the world you are used to, art is not for you.

 

If the human condition is not your concern, art is not for you.

 

If you don’t need your world to be richer, art is not for you.

 

If you dismiss the voices of others, art is not for you.

 

If you are looking for an investment, art is not for you.

 

If you complacency is your thing, art is not for you.

 

QAnon

 It’s hard to imagine confronting anyone who is a member of the clusters of conspiracy theories called QAnon, believing among other things that dedicated public servants are child-eating pedophiles and that Donald Trump is the savior that will bring about a glorious new world order.

 

But wait a minute. Republican politicians and Congressmen and many citizens have spent almost four years believing that Donald Trump—lying, cheating, bullying, playing up to authoritarian leaders—could tweet us to a great again America.

 

So maybe QAnon isn’t so strange after all.

Trump America

 Even when Donald Trump loses the election, if a large number of citizens vote for him, this signals a frightening failure of the ideals of democracy. Trump is a lying, narcissistic, authoritarian, inarticulate, rigid man, quick with bluster and slow with accomplishments. He has been supported by a Republican Party, which has given its values over to him. Its members have swallowed their personal integrity, choking on it time after time.

 

The willingness to follow and even admire Trump is a sign of ignorance and fear--fear of change, fear of the loss of privilege and fear of their own inadequacy. The whole of America needs healing—economically, socially and spiritually. But this healing will never follow from the inept leadership of a shallow, divisive and instinctively devious man like Donald Trump.

 

It still eludes me as to how to convince Trump voters to change their minds. I do believe they have some legitimate concerns that Democrats need to address. But for Trump supporters to put their hopes on him is for them to invest in an America only for some, an America falling apart at the seams.

 

Let them take a good hard look at America under Trump. Is this really what “Great Again” should mean?

Hate glasses

Take off your hate glasses.

Take off the shoes you stomp on others with.

Take off the pants you wear to dominate the family.

Take off the belt that holds in that belly of consumption.

Take the shirt off your back and give it to someone who needs it.

Take off your undergarments to get naked of any prejudices.

 

Now you are ready to dress yourself up like a human being.

Fall campaigns

 Watch for these new marketing campaigns coming this fall.

 

Tattoo Funerals

For those who have spent a lifetime proudly tattooing their bodies, a new funeral option will be available. Your nude body will be tastefully encased between two plexiglas panels in a revolving casket. Mourners will be able to appreciate the life work in tattoos of the beloved. A descriptive map will be available.

 

FLOTUS Trophy Wife Doll Collection

No matter the results of the election, Mattel plans to market a new FLOTUS Trophy wife Doll with accompanying outfits such as the safari outfit, the Inauguration gown, Air Force One flight suit and the Lincoln Bedroom lounging wear. If this is successful, a robotic FLOTUS Trophy Wife Doll will follow.

 

The Bachelorette

In order to boost ratings, the next season of the Bachelorette will feature the traditional collection of handsome horny hunks. But this season all of the male contestants will have survived COVID-19. This will add a new level of drama and pathos to the popular competition, testing the manliness of the man and the compassion of the bachelorette.

HC #12

 Holy Church of Get Off Your Ass and Do Something

Sermonette #12

 

The world is spinning off its axis.

Darkness prevails.

Greed and ignorance are everywhere.

Wealth abounds in all the wrong places.

 

And you are just mashing your buttocks.

You are spreading out your derriere.

You are busting the blood vessels in your butt.

Your gluteus is pulchritudinous.

Your ass lacks class.

 

Go get off the couch. Take on the world. Make it better.

Breaking news

 Breaking News

 

Donald Trump, our President, took a minute to use the bathroom next to the Oval Office. From photos at the golf course, we know the size of his posterior. Well, on this bathroom visit the Trump rump got stuck.

 

In a moment of panic he ran through his options for help. Secret service, no. Ben Carson, no. Mike Pence or Mike Pompeo. Maybe Betsy DeVos. He decided on Mike Pompeo since the same thing had happened to Mike and the Donald came to his rescue.

 

In the middle of this panic, the President pushed nuclear strike button instead of the emergency help button. Fortunately and serendipitously, Putin and Xi were both in the bathroom as well. The failsafe mechanism clicked in and all was okay.

 

Now Trump had to find a scapegoat for the fiasco. He settled on Homeland Security, saying they had not installed the Model 1463 XXXL Presidential Potty Ejector Seat he had long ago requested.

 

In a follow up interview with Martha Raditz, Trump said that things worked out very well. Very well. Perfectly, in face. His only regret was that the crowds were not larger to witness it.

Vocabulary for DT

 Donald Trump’s behavior and character are beyond any current vocabulary to describe them. So I am inventing some new word for your using pleasure.

 

Despicalicious

 

Nastispicable

 

Scumdidumbable

 

Crapacious

 

Nauseopustule

 

Narcissiviscious

 

Disassassasstrous

 

Liasaurus

 

Rodentacious

 

Dicktatertot

 

Mememememeany

 

Bumblelarious

 

Boobolodingularious

Democracy

 No. It’s not the legislature. It’s not the judiciary. It’s not the press. It’s you and me. We are the ones who determine the fate of democracy. How we vote. How we educate ourselves. Our values. Our actions.

 

If we look at countries across the world, we recognize that a vital democracy is much more fragile than we realized. Democracy can’t be sustained in a society that is flabby, complacent and uninformed. The cracks in American democracy are becoming apparent, and authoritarianism is on the rise globally.

 

We must all be actively vigilant to ensure that American democracy endures. It’s our job. Freedom doesn’t come cheap or easy, and this is how we earn it.

COVID lockdown

 Why should I be anxious about the COVID lockdown?

I get a TV visit from Joe Namath at least 30 times a day.

I get my free booklet on mesothelioma.

I dream that Kelly Clarkson may suddenly appear in my kitchen.

I can buy hundreds of useful gadgets with free shipping and a second one at no additional cost.

I have at hand a law firm for every possible disease and vehicle crash.

I can wear the best, most breathable and flattering underwear.

I can choose between so many car insurance companies, all saving me the most money.

I can grow esteem-boosting hair without leaving my couch.

I can buy a new car online without ever leaving home.

I have the time at home to rejuvenate my skin, eyelids and eyebrows.

I can make a statement with my chin.

I can learn to call all the illnesses and medical conditions by their nicknames.

Even after COVID subsides, I may never go out again.

Donald Jr.

 Yesterday was a special day for me. I got a letter from Donald Trump, Jr. In it, he called me a patriot and warned me about the massive amount of grabbing going on. I was terribly anxious until I read further that it was all due to the Democrats and that Dad would save me and the country from them.

 

Junior also included a lovely wallet-sized photo of himself with his manly and self-assured beard. I was particularly impressed that he took time out from killing endangered species to write to me.

 

Maybe you were lucky to get this letter too. I hope so.

Civilization

 When I was beginning my education, indigenous peoples were thought of as savage and primitive. Because their numbers were small, their cultures were built on simple hierarchies, workable social structures, shared duties and productive collaboration. They were considered godless, but had gods that served them well and kept them connected to nature, even finding sprit in all of creation.

 

As “civilization” arose and developed, civilized cultures evolved complex hierarchies, social, legal and economic structures built on domination and class. People were enslaved in all kinds of ways. Religion put God to work in all kinds of nefarious ways, and God become more and more distant from nature as nature became more and more distant from the everyday lives of people.

 

While the arts and sciences became the glory of civilization, society became more and more brutal and violent. Indigenous peoples today would surely think of modern civilization as savage, primitive and godless, with spirit being sucked from nature.

Trump limericks

I’m Trump and the expert on all

I’m perfect, a man on the ball

My crowds are immense

My perceptions are dense

I’m mighty and won’t ever fall.

 

I’m Trump and I lie like a champ

As a kid, I went to lie making camp

From out of my mouth and my ass

They explode just like gas

And I deliver them till my face starts to cramp

 

I’m Trump, in my mind a dictator

And I’ll get there sooner or later

Putin and Xi

Are models for me

Their methods are something I cater

 

I’m Trump and I golf like a pro

On my course at Mar-a-Lago

My swing is first class

With the thrust of my ass

And down the fairway I go

 

I’m Trump the inventor of MAGA

And I write the American saga

It’s all about me

Who else could it be

Over me my sycophants go gaga

 

I’m Trump and I have the right place

To perfectly memorialize my face

Those four famous men

Anticipate when

My glorious head takes its space

 

 

 

 

 

HC #11

 Holy Church of Get Off Your Ass and Do Something?

Sermonette #11

 

You can change the world by standing on your feet. You can change the world by pushing with your hands. You can change the world by getting on your knees. But nothing happens while you’re sitting on your ass.

 

Throw out the recliner. Throw out the vibrating chair. Throw out the old rocking chair. Get in your car. Get on your skateboard. Hop on that bike. Scoot on that scooter.

 

Get up. Get out. Get into some ”good trouble.”

Human beingness

 I need your help.

I’ve been thinking about the need for a BA degree in Human Beingness. It would be a 4 or maybe 5-year degree. Students would have to have their tuition and fees covered completely since they are studying for no career at all.

 

I imagine classes like: Myth and Spirit, The Nature of Evil, Love, Human Development, Human Sexuality, Mind and Perception, The Arts and the Human Condition, The Scientific and Technological Vision, The History of Social Control and The Moral Compass. Tied to all of this would be development of a language for personal vision.

 

In our culture we are taught to consume, to desire, to make money, to be entertained, to live through the lives of others and to expect to be taken care of. But we are not taught what it means to be full human beings.

 

So what do you think about this idea, the courses and the viability?

True or false

 True or false:

 

Melania gets a new dress every time she catches Donald in a lie.

 

If Donald Trump put a notch on his belt for every lie he told, he would still have room for more notches.

 

Donald Trump’s new book is called The Art of Dictatorship.

 

All his cabinet members take turns as Donald Trump’s caddy at Mar-a-Lago.

 

Donald Trump initially thought that Black Lives Matter referred to only black Republicans.

 

Since he became president, Donald Trump’s vocabulary had increased by only 7 words.

 

Trump and Putin exchange birthday cards.

 

Trump has turned the White House bowling alley into a closet for Melania.

What we admire

We admire the discipline, agility and accomplishment of athletes. We watch their finely tuned bodies in action. We make them into heroes and pay them generously as professionals. We wear their gear and spend time watching them play.

 

But we don’t equivalently recognize that creative thought is characterized by discipline, agility and accomplishment. We can’t as easily see the finely tuned mind in action. So we don’t as often make them heroes or pay them generously as professionals. We don’t wear their gear or widely recognize the significance of their accomplishments.

 

Why not?

Corporate marketing

Corporate marketing and advertising are the gold standard for separating you from your money. Money is the single goal. Even corporate charitable giving, propped up by ad campaigns, is a form of corporate image building leading to increased sales.

 

Corporate marketing is built on extensive research, extensive media reach and the creative design engines of  experienced agencies. But at root, all this boils down to sophisticated manipulation of basic human characteristics: greed, low self esteem, desire, status and envy.

 

Greed: Make consumers want more. Convince them that their wants are actually their needs. Tie wants to becoming a better human being.

 

Low self esteem: You deserve to look better, feel better, have more. This will bring notice, friends, romance, all you ever wanted.

 

Desire: It’s all right to want what you want. After all, it’s you, and you’re the best. Wanting is only human, and you can get what you want delivered to your door the next day. And, of course, “sex sells” is never discounted.

 

Status: Your next door neighbors have it. Celebrities have it. Professional athlete spokespersons recommend it. Why shouldn’t you have it. It’s what you deserve, and it shows others your importance.

 

Romance: Oils, Creams, injections, surgeries, hair coloring, eyebrow and eyelid rejuvenation and spa treatments all make you younger looking, more desirable and the beauty of your own dreams.

 

Envy: Only the best have these things. Why shouldn’t you? You’ll feel better when you show others you possess them.

 

Corporate marketing is a spectacle of bands, crowds, jingles, slogans, logos, sunshine, celebrities, professional athletes, influencers, obnoxiously cute kids, beautiful suburban couples in mcmansions with expansive kitchens, dance numbers  and funny vignettes all speaking to you as if you are their very best friend.

 

Pick a commercial, Unwrap it. See what you think?

True freedom

True freedom is courageous, not stupid.

 

True freedom respects the freedom of others.

 

True freedom comes from deep within not from superficial desire.

 

True freedom thinks big.

 

True freedom understands systems, but is not comfortable in them.

 

True freedom understands the responsibilities of true freedom.

 

True freedom has a moral grounding.

 

 

HC #10

Holy Church of Get Off Your Ass and Do Something

Sermonette #10

 

Brothers and sisters, do you know where your ass is now? Is it parked somewhere?  Is it plopped too comfortably? Is it out getting some fresh air? Or is it in gear and ready to go?

 

You don’t want your ass to turn you into an ass. Nature didn’t design the ass to be just a cushion.

 

So love your ass. Have expectations of your ass. Make your ass contribute to a better world.

 

Get off your ass. Do something.