Marketing ridiculousness:
A cream for those who “want to make a statement with their
necks”
An Amazon commercial of people orgasmic about their delivered
products while “Ave Maria” is sung in the background
Trusting Shaq to recommend the best printer, pain relief
patch, and home security system
All the commercials with consumers so happy they’re dancing
about it
Every disease and ailment must have a nickname and a theme
song
Every commercial takes place either in a bright, sunny
meadow or an airy, sunlit kitchen as big as a football field
Whether they’re selling beer, shoe insoles, fat busters,
remedies for toenail fungus, hyalauric acid treatments, effortless toilet bowl
cleaners, home exercise equipment or smarter children, everything will make you
a better, happier more admired person
Cute animals selling all kinds of products
Commercials subtly shaming people for bags beneath their
eyes and unwanted eyebrow and facial hair
An eyebrow hair removal pen with a built-in LED light, made
for all ages, marketed particularly to early teens
Since everyone wants to look younger, a cream made from
plant stem cells guaranteed to remove the bags under your eyes
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