The big upset

Seats for the final event between State U. and Cal Arts were almost impossible to get unless you had a quick $10,000. La Vegas odds makers wavered between the underdog State U. team and the highly touted team from Cal Arts. The anticipated battle was on the lips of just about everyone, and TV ratings were expected to break records.

The pre-event commentary between William Kentridge, Laurie Anderson and Theaster Gates was electric. All agreed that State U. vs. Cal Arts was a classic David and Goliath scenario.

Cal Arts opened with a 3-screen video of a nightmarish and apocalyptic vision of environmental disaster in frightening reds and deep blacks. Frogs rained down on the landscape, exploding on the ground and splashing tadpoles across the screen. A performance followed in which the team members dressed in inflated latex body bags were dropped from the ceiling and exploded one another to the music of Luciano Berio. The audio screamed delight.

It seemed hopeless for State U. Then the slam dunk that none would ever forget. The first screen came down showing an agitated crowd. The another transparent screen with a projected image of a denser crowd. Then screen after screen, layered, denser, colors increasing in intensity, crowds ready to explode. After the ninth screen, the screens began to slide parallel to one another, until, in a split second, the arena went dark.

Soon the State U. performance began, the audience still reeling from the video. The State U. team members rolled two at a time off dual ramps. As their Velcro-wrapped bodies collided in pairs, each pair began an individual battle metaphorically representing the human struggle to love, collaborate, reach oneness, struggle for individuality and be absorbed into the cosmic whole. For each pair the result was different after intensely choreographed interactions.

State U. had become the unlikely Cinderella team. The Basquiettes did the Eiffel Tower and held it longer than they ever had. The hits on the youtube videos were to high to count. Several networks are now vying for the rights to next year’s competition. Crowds at the airport to greet the State U. teams were in the tens of thousands. The next day, the President of State U. announced a 900% increase in the budget of the State U. art department. But best of all, the State U. teams were invited to the White House to meet with the President, who announced a 300% increase in the NEA budget. And now the coveted Golden Urinal sits side by side in the case with State U’s trophies for Division II basketball and Division I curling.