Star quarterback

 I’m no lineman or center. I’m the star quarterback, and my team is nationally ranked. I’m the entertainment. The one who scores the TD’s, takes the hits, gets the interviews and makes the big bucks for the school. It’s my name fans want on their jerseys. I’m pro material.

So give me my own dorm suite, steak dinners, massages, a hot tub, a sauna, and flights home at Christmas. And, thanks, by the way, the blonde escort was an education in itself.

And I’m the coach. Since I make the school money and bring it recognition, I make multiple times the salary of the Nobel Laureate professor and even the school President. I get a large support staff and a big recruiting budget, with lots of money for meals and flights. I’m responsible for a relatively small number of young men, but they are the most important students on campus.

So I get them tutors and special courses. I can see the day when they will get college credit for time on the field--sports marketing, performance, acting and more. In my mind college=football.