Dear Dr. Advice

Dear Dr. Advice,

I was diagnosed with mesothelioma and then hit by a truck. During the surgery to repair my broken pelvis, the doctor was negligent. My question is do I need different lawyers for each incident?

Triple Tragedy

Dear Triple Tragedy,

No. Look for a lawyer who calls himself “The Hammer,” “The Boxer,” “The Tank,” or “The Destroyer.”

Dear Dr. Advice,

I am a middle-aged man with a gut so big that I can’t see my own feet. Is there a diet that can help me and still allow me to down a six pack every night?

Beer Belly

Dear Beer Belly,

The BEAR diet (beer, exercise and rest) is the best for you. Eat no food. Run for 2 miles between each beer. Get lots of rest.

Dear Dr. Advice,

Call me vain, but I don’t look good in these infection prevention masks. My lips and nose are some of my best features, as many of my friends have told me. Any suggestions?

I Like My Face

Dear I Like My Face,

Honestly, I don’t give a damn about your lips and nose if you might give me COVID-19. Go online. I’m sure American entrepreneurship has created couture masks or get a Salome type veil or perhaps a nice bourka. And while you’re at it, get a life.