Artscars

OK, I’m going to do it. I’m going to invent the Artscars. I think they will maybe take the form of a golden Venus de Milo or maybe of Michaelangelo’s David. I have to think about that. But selfishly, I want to sit in the front row of the theater in my tux and tails (I have one) and have the camera scan across me multiple times. Of course, the event will be hosted by an artist (know one with a good sense of humor?).

I will be nominated in the category, Best Drawing by a Male Artist. And I will win. William Kentridge will present the award (I admire him). I won’t stumble as I ascend the stairs. I will give a speech worthy of notice in the next day’s press, thank lots of people and go past my allotted time.

Then certainly afterward, there will be plenty of food and boozing and schmoozing.

And just think, you could win an Artscar, too.