Dear Abby

How would Dear Abby respond?

Dear Abby:

I am an attractive, virile male. Three of the women in my office have tried to seduce me. Should I sue them? This does not make me feel like more of a man.

An Office Hunk

Dear Abby:

I am a black college junior from a low-income family, and I have been accused of rape. If I am convicted, should I expect a slap on the wrists like recent convicted white college rapists? Where can I find a lawyer who can demonstrate that I actually have a productive future?

Black But Not Worthless

Dear Abby:

I am a black police officer who recently shot a white teenager who pointed a gun at me. Since he was white, have I deprived society of a productive life? Should I hate myself?

Killer Cop

Dear Abby:

I believe that Donald Trump is a canker on the nation, and I can’t understand how everyone else doesn’t agree with me. This has caused me great anxiety, severe headaches and stomach problems. I have heard that this malady is more and more common and has been named cofefecitis. Is it covered under most medical plans?

Remove the Canker