Being in excellent health (a mere one pound away from
obesity) and passing a test of mental cognition, is a pretty low bar for the
Presidency. Neither of those guarantees intelligence, truthfulness, compassion,
empathy, leadership, integrity, personal dignity or respect for others.
I on the other hand have never been sexually inappropriate (except
for off color jokes in the company of mature men). I am compassionate (most of
the time and even when people are not watching). I am dignified (at least when
dignified people are watching). I am the eleventh least racist person you will
ever meet. I am the greatest artist on my block (and many people will attest to
this). Since I was in the Boy Scouts, I am trustworthy, loyal, helpful,
friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.
Therefore, if it comes
down to it, you can always vote for me.
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