Twerk

 

Brain

 I know two people, two very different people, who share the same brain. One is smart, funny, caring and creative. The other is can be deeply depressed, prone to anxiety attacks and wants to curl in a ball and die. These two people are rarely seen together. Each desperately wants the brain to himself. Both are the manifestations of how their brain’s chemicals are sloshing around. The brain is a complex, amazing, fickle and demanding organ that wants what it wants.

underwear

 Today is National Underwear Model Appreciation Day

They show you what you want to look like.

National

 Today is National Dance a Sexy Tango Day

Dress appropriately

Putin

 I’m generally a peaceful person. But when I see what Putin is responsible for in Ukraine, I comfort myself by imagining appropriate punishments for him. How about this one? While he’s still alive, cut him up in small pieces and feed the pieces to the dogs in Ukraine. Or maybe brand him with the names of all the Ukrainians he’s killed. Or maybe make him ride shirtless on an ass across all of Russia in the winter. Do you have a suggestion?

Stadium

 Here we go again. The lease for Paul Brown Stadium will now require another half billion dollars of county taxpayer money for maintenance and improvements. We want fans to have a world-class experience every time they go. A holographic screen, maybe a retractable dome, massage recliner seats, 3D-printed statues of all the players adorning the stadium. Why not?

Would we have the social conscience necessary to commit that much money for affordable housing for the poor and homeless?

Society

 We’d like to believe that our instinctive responses to the world around us would be characterized by compassion, honesty, forgiveness and love. Yet we’ve created a society which is too violent and too inequitable, a society which encourages us toward excess consumption, superficiality, fear, selfishness. We feel anxious and not secure.

It’s hard to know how this happened. We’re all complicit. Where do we go from here?

Buffoon

 Today is National Befriend a Buffoon Day

Buffoons are people, too!

Night

 Night

The story of half our lives

Is nighttime’s story, darkness

We sleep, make love, perhaps

Make babies, do the touching 

And talking that’s the work of intimacy 

We dream dreams of fear, of jumbled

Bits of reality, of muddled absurdity

And of flying if we’re lucky

For some, nights are workdays 

In the shadows where day is night

When do they dance and drink

A beer with friends as I do

Reporting and complaining about 

The shit and blessings of life

Falling night pushes away all but a small

Architecture of quiet around me

There I’m in myself

Liking the surprises of imagination

What bubbles from the inside

As only can happen in the night

Stupidity

 Today is National Rail against Human Stupidity Day

All of us have been there, too many of us live there.

World day

 Today is World Use Your Penis Wisely Day

Enough said.

Human

 After all this time, the best humans can do is to fight war with war and killing with killing. We’ve had plenty enough messengers who have argued and lived the necessity of love. We know what love is but don’t have the courage to live it fully and the resolve to gift it to our children. 

How must we live to be able to say, “Yes, I am a human being.”

Compliments

 Today is National Be Sincere and Generous with Your Compliments Day

Let people know that you notice.

Freedom

 Freedom and responsibility must be mates, otherwise freedom is cheap and flabby. But freedom and discipline must also be mates. Whenever we make a choice to enter a program of learning—the arts, the military, medicine, athletics, etc.—we give up some of our freedoms to be led and directed by others. If we do the required training, exercises, practice and study, we gain the discipline that allows us to act with assurance, skill and creativity. This is freedom.

Failure

 Today is National Own Up to Your Failures Day

You failed. You’re human. Get over it. Learn from it. Grow. Move on.

Change

 I’m old enough to remember a childhood with small neighborhood grocery stores, one car families, unlocked doors and safe streets. Things were made to last and enough seemed to be enough. This may seem like nostalgia, but it seems so much more sensible in light of the climate crisis facing us.

It really isn’t an issue of the average citizen adopting a lifestyle that will save the planet, because that is virtually impossible. We have allowed ourselves to construct a society based on consumption, obsolescence, waste, excess and greed. The only solution is for the social structures of government and capitalism to change. 

Does anyone really believe this change will happen? The poor don’t have the resources to ruin the planet, and the rich don’t have the courage to save it.

Phone

 Need some ideas for your answering machine?

I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m combing my chest hair.

I can’t come to the phone right now. Tiger Woods is about to tee off.

I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m emptying my ice cube trays.

I can’t come to the phone right now. Door Dash is delivering my gourmet dog treats.

I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m finishing my portrait of Joe Burrow.

I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m practicing my twerking moves.

I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m on #47 of the 50 shades of gray.

Pay attention

 Today is National Pay Attention Day.

Open your eyes. Look around. Give your full attention to the important things.

Discover what you’ve been missing.

CNN

 If CNN had covered the Viking invasion of Britain, the Crusades, the sieges of key cities or the Civil War, would it appear really much different from the coverage of the Russian invasion of Ukraine? I doubt it. War and its consequences have not changed over the span of human civilization. We’ve just gotten better at killing and destruction.

As someone who has always supported efforts at peace, I have come to see peace in our culture as a flabby delusion. The amount to time and effort put into peace pales compared to the design and production of weapons of war. There are no profits in peace whereas there is a great deal of money to be made in the production and sales of weapons.

It’s always been the case that the solution to war is war and to killing is killing. Peace becomes a transitory state.

Easter

 Regeneration. 

Renewal. 

Rebirth. 

Resurrection. 

New life. 

Spring. 

This is the message of nature. 

Hope and promise.

Heroes

 We are not very good at selecting our heroes. So let’s be clear.

Heroes don’t chase fame and wealth. Heroes are not defined by mastery of a particular skill. Heroes need to be good looking and chiseled only in movies and comic books. Heroes don’t use their notoriety to become product spokesmen. Heroes don’t seek comfort and excess. 

A hero is a human being, sometimes a failed human being. This failure can even be what makes the hero aware of his/her potential deeper humanity. This awareness—or call—is accepted by the hero, knowing that great challenges and tests are ahead. This can be a journey of the body, mind and/or spirit. The hero returns, recognizing that her/his transformation prepares him/her for the task of bringing to society a message of enlightenment.

We don’t measure our humanity by our wealth and comfort. We measure our humanity by the way we confront our own suffering and the suffering of others.

Resurrection

 

Parents

 Today I’m watching my 4-year-old grandson. This means unrelenting reports on his siblings—what they eat and don’t eat, what they do, what happens at school, etc. Also unrelenting questions about the most mundane and complicated things. This child is processing his reality and trying to make sense of the world. This makes it clear again that what children need is genuine attention, affirmation of their work and demonstration of authentic love.

In contemporary culture, parenting is often a distraction from the “real work” that defines the adult. But parenting is a demanding, full-time commitment. When parents fail to be parents, children fail to become healthy adults.

Chick

 By request.

A new online streaming service: Flicks for Slick Chicks. Stream any or all of the following for free.

When to dress like a slut.

Spike heels as fashion and weaponry

Don’t let your makeup cake up

How to spot a dickhead before it’s too late

Cheerleading as career training

When a 2-carat diamond is not enough

The 5 best body sites for silicone implants

Weddings for under $50,000

Melania’s trophy wife secrets

Love

 Power leads from the top.

Love leads from the bottom.

Power takes.

Love gives.

We see love in the little ripples in the pond. We are seduced with delusions of love in entertainment media. This little love, comforting love. But just look at the world. We humans have failed at big love. We’ve had centuries of instruction and exemplary acts of authentic love. Look at where we are. We’ve failed, lacking in the real persistence and courage love requires.

Each of us has a radius of authentic love. It begins where we are and extends outward to the limit of this love, generating a circle inside of which we practice this love. The radius might first include family and friends. It might go beyond to neighbors, colleagues or church members. Perhaps it extends to community. Its measure can be as small NIMBY types or large as Mother Teresa’s.What is your radius of authentic love?

Creatives

 Feeling bored, dull, blasé, in a rut? Then contact us at RENT A CREATIVE. All members of our staff are trained to open eyes, push boundaries and tap creative energies. We have creatives of all genders, races, sexual orientations and ethnicities to choose from. 

Rent one of our creatives for a day of assessment, play and problem solving. Special weekly rates are available as well.

To spark your creative life, call 800-NEW-EYES.

Lenten reflection #14

 Lenten reflection #14

Jesus on the cross. Only a loincloth, maybe naked, brown skin and dark beard. He said only a few words, no singing or dancing. Do you think he knew what kind of influencer he would be? Local gossip to small, clandestine groups to traveling evangelists to gospels to pulpits, modest and grand to radio to television to books to Internet to deaf ears.

Flicks

 Quick Flicks for Dicks is a new streaming site for the alpha male. Sign up to select from such short informational videos as:

Rap in one easy lesson

Techniques of Hollywood wet kissing

How to be a TikTok jackass

Social media pranks 101

How to write bad love poetry

Secrets of a dude influencer

Motorcycle chic

The subtle messages of facial hair

Talking man talk

Effective use of sports stats

Special Pooch

 Your Special Pooch

We know you love the dog who loves you unquestionably. That’s why we at Special Pooch want to introduce you to our complete line of doggie products and services. Membership in Special Pooch gives you access to discounts on products and services like.

--Gucci doggie mittens

--Tiffany gold walking chains

--One-week spa vacations which include daily swims, massages, gourmet food and Westminster level training

--Weekly delivery of food created specifically for your dog by our veterinary-trained chefs

--Annual doggie wellness visits

--Mating and breeding services in our pooch love motels.

To view our full line of products and annual membership levels and fees, go to our website: specialpooch.com.

Lenten reflection #13

 

Love and war

 In the past we have declared war on drugs and war on poverty and war on illiteracy. Why do we think in terms of war as a solution. War always has dire consequences for the people it purports to save.

Why don’t we declare love on drugs and then care about alleviating the circumstances that cause their use. Why don’t we declare love on poverty by programs that address the root causes. Why don’t we declare love on illiteracy by giving the opportunity for a good education to all.

lenten reflection #12

 Lenten reflection #12

Jesus may have been divine, but he got a good taste of human behavior. He was doubted, ignored, misunderstood, betrayed, tortured and killed. But he was also admired, trusted, welcomed and loved. We are thrown into the same human sea.

Russian soldiers

 It begins with Putin. His soldiers are told they are going war. Is this war just or necessary? As soldiers, do they even ask themselves this question? The war begins. The courage, integrity and success of the Ukrainian forces the Russian soldiers to confront their own incompetence and purpose. Why are they destroying the lives and property of human beings so much like them.

Some soldiers desert. Some soldiers dutifully continue to do their dirty job. Some soldiers—who knows how many—begin to act in ways to give up their humanity. How does this happen? How can they rape, kill, destroy and act in the most brutal and horrific ways? How do they live with themselves? How do they medicate themselves? Have they given up their humanity forever? Can they ever return from this deepest hole of human depravity? What will they do when they meet Putin in the lowest level of hell?

The behavior of these Russian soldiers must remind us that all of us—individuals and nations—must be vigilant, knowing that even in the smallest ways, we have in our lives, given up our humanity.

Lenten reflection #11

 Lenten reflection #11

On my 50th birthday, I rode up to my celebratory event in a limousine. I should have ridden up on the back of an ass. In life, I spent a lot of time with comfortable people. I should have been looking for the lepers. Truth is not an easy companion.

Poetry stadium

 The Cincinnati City Council has just announced that construction on the nation’s first Poetry Stadium will begin in late 2022. This $200 million stadium will have multiple stages for poetry concerts, poetry slams and intimate poetry readings. It will have state-of-the-art jumbo screens, a poetry library, meeting rooms and luxury locker rooms for visiting poets. In keeping with a Cincinnati tradition, the stadium will be located on the Ohio River.

The stadium will be funded by a tax on the earnings of visiting athletes and entertainers.

The City is currently looking for a billionaire poet to finance the naming rights to the stadium.

Lenten reflection #10

 Lenten reflection #10

Everyone—lepers, mothers, soldiers, apostles, children—expected something from Jesus. The problem was, Jesus also expected something from them.

Excuse me

 Excuse me.

Excuse me, but aren’t teachers supposed to teach my children only what I want them to learn?

Excuse me, but why should I waste time reading a book that makes me the least bit uncomfortable?

Excuse me, but I can’t help only trusting white people.

Excuse me, but a professional athlete would never lie to me.

Excuse me, but I like to buy things only from pretty people.

Excuse me, but I listen to people who tell me what I want to hear.

Excuse me, but I just don’t feel comfortable around people who aren’t normal.

Excuse me, but I don’t even know what LGBTQ spells.

LGBTQ

 The fear and distress among those who consider themselves “normal” in relation to the LGBTQ community is not about outward signs of fashion or expression. It’s about their inability to leave behind outdated moral codes and look honestly at the way human nature is expressed in human sexuality.

Once over that hump, then it becomes simply about love and respect.

Lenten reflection #9

 Lenten reflection #9

Some people get to the top of the mountain and think they own the world. They see it, but they are no longer living in it. Some people wander in the desert, searching for their soul. They find it, and they find the world in it.

Lenten reflection #8

 Lenten reflection #8

Take Jesus’ story completely literally and you may struggle to believe; but take it metaphorically and you are lifted in belief at the humanity of the story. The baptism, the crowds, the spectacle, the miracles, the test of faith, the meal, the garden, the betrayal, the death, the resurrection, all have message and meaning in our human lives. To me, this is the way to hear this story and make it our own.

Primordial

 As I present this poem to you, I am wearing my tight black leather pants that stop just above the ankle. Sockless, I’m also wearing bright red high top tennis shoes. My belt is green leather with an elaborate buckle. I’m shirtless, but I have a lycra vest that reveals my ample chest hair. I’m accessorized with a few gold chains, a nose ring and earring. And of course, neck and arm are decorated with skulls and wings. Finally, orange hair. I hope this image helps you appreciate my poem.

The DNA in the primordial pond

Did not think of me

But I think of it

In my drive to reproduce

And in my garden

And the surprise of a chameleon 

The time from there to me

Remains mysterious

And so am I and so are you

And yet we live as if

It’s just another show that

We attend, applaud, go home

As if there were no possibility

Of a miracle in your backyard

Embedded

 We don’t spend much time thinking about how embedded the billions of years of evolution are in us. Our bodies, our brains, our chemistry, our libidos and our pre-consciousness are at all times driven by these long chains of evolutionary decisions and webs of relationships. Sadly, we often completely ignore this as we try to discover who we are in our civilization-directed societies.

This is why we need to spend more time--more time of discovery and reverence--in the natural world out of which we came. 

Lenten reflection #7

 Lenten reflection #7

I’m thinking about the Last Supper. Not the events, but the thoughts and emotions of the apostles. There must have been confusion, fear, consternation, elation, anxiety, disagreement  and love. Aren’t those the same emotions and thoughts we experience when we are challenged to take the risks that truth, integrity and love demand?

Men

 Men…

Feel bad about your baldness?

Feel bad about your graying temples?

Feel bad about that belly?

Feel bad about occasional ED?

Feel bad about your out-of-date wardrobe?

Feel bad about complimenting her looks?

Feel bad about not complimenting her looks?

Feel bad about opening the door for her?

Feel bad about not opening the door for her?

Feel bad?

It’s just our time to feel bad.

Shsooting

 Another school shooting. Another child dead. A minute on the news. Congress doesn’t notice. Just another day in America.

But the Will Smith slap is another story. It won’t quit. It becomes the focus of unending coverage and commentary. We anxiously wait for the judgment of the Academy. Just another day in America.