Artist services

Attention artists! Starting May 1, I will be offering the following services:

Reputation Manager: If you are a good artist but a boring person, let me create and manage a reputation for you. I can help you become complex, strange, moody, quirky, petulant, whatever you want. Have the artist reputation you always wanted.

Wardrobe Guru: People probably ignore your art. But I can create the high couture look that will make heads turn and people envious. Once you have “the look” your art will get the looks.

Social Media Enabler: Let me invade social media for you with a dynamic and engaging pitch, pushing your art right out there with all the wise and compelling drama of an old master.

Backstory Narrator: Maybe your art is not going anywhere because you don’t have the right backstory. Let me concoct one for you that will thrust forward into your current art life and send people clamoring to see your art. Choose from a number of options: victim of life, patient sufferer, roguish rake, misunderstood artist and more.

Celebrity Spokesperson: It never hurts to have a celebrity in your corner, and I can get you one. There are numerous celebrities who are willing to sell their dignity to hawk your goods. For the right price, you can choose the gender, race, age, entertainment venue that suits your vibe.

Pricing on a sliding scale and satisfaction guaranteed.