BREAKING NEWS
It has been confirmed that the Second Coming is happening. Jesus has appeared on Earth. Rumors that he rushed out to by a 72” TV and is living in Trump Tower are false. In fact, he is living and eating at homeless shelters and shopping at thrift stores.
Mary and Joseph did not accompany him, but some of the apostles have arrived to help with social media and the planning of his first world tour. He has not explained why he landed in America as opposed to the Middle East.
In his first interview, he had some good things to say about Pope Francis but lambasted autocrats, plutocrats, despots, thugs and most Republicans.
He was not initially recognized because he didn’t look at all like any of his pictures. He did make a splash by cleaning up a toxic dump with a wave of his hands. Asked what he liked about the 21st century, he said, “Strong women and men who truly love their children.”
STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS.
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