Jesus Ascends
News outlets report that Jesus’ Love tour was a resounding success. There were large crowds across the globe with high security due to all who wanted to touch his garments. There were no instances of “the loaves and fishes,” but all concessions were sold at cost to attendees and all servers were paid decent and fair wages. Characteristically, Jesus chased all money changers and souvenir vendors away from the sacred stadiums.
There was no smoke and no fireworks and no big screens. Jesus spoke of love and promised no miracles. He said that the true miracle would be if people actually learned to love one another. He also said that, considering what has occurred since his last visit, he would probably have to return a lot more times to get the job done.
He was last sighted atop the largest skyscraper in Indonesia, slowly ascending into the clouds.
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