IN CONTINUING NEWS;
Jesus has left the Midwest, traveling in Amish buggies, Greyhound buses and on foot. While he was resting overnight at a farmhouse in Arkansas, he gave a brief interview.
Current plans for the World Tour will take him to Jerusalem, Nazareth and Cairo, where he will visit some places from his youth. He will also include Rome, London, Nairobi, Oslo, Moscow, Tokyo and San Francisco. He revealed that this time he would not be crucified.
Journalists were not able to confirm or deny the nail marks in his hands and feet. No miracles were recorded, but several people claimed a sudden sense of calm and the capacity for deep love.
One journalist snarkily asked Jesus if he ever allowed his image to appear on a piece of toast.
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