Dear Dr.Advice

Dear Dr. Advice,

When I go grocery shopping, I just wear a plain mask. But I see so many people who are in creative COVID fashion wear? Am I out of touch, and should I put more effort into my COVID dress?

No COVID Flair

Dear No COVID Flair,

Dress very normally, but use your phone to take pictures of COVID fashionistas. When you get a nice collection, send them to VOGUE and wait for the check. Let the fashionistas be your road to riches.

Dear Dr. Advice,

I am a figurative artist, and I have just completed a series of nudes wearing N95 masks. I feel this is very topical and that I am on to something. How do you think I should proceed?

Confused about Nudes

Dear Confused about Nudes,

My first question is, are the masks on the faces of the nudes or the genitals of the nudes?

Dear Dr. Advice,

I have attached 4 yardsticks to my waist at 90 degree angles to one another in order to assure the required 6 ft. distance between me and others. This has made it very difficult to proposition women, especially in a time when all bars are closed. Any suggestions on how to meet my manly needs and stay safe at the same time.

Desperate at 6 Ft.

Dear Desperate at 6 Ft.,

For you to get humped, I’m stumped.