Donald Trump speaks:
"Momentarily I will authorize the bombing of 7 Muslim states. I am a good authorizer, maybe the best authorizer ever. It will be beautiful. But first one comment. The American people gave me a mandate, perhaps the greatest mandate in history. Also I did get perhaps the largest inaugural crowd in history. My operatives were out the day before the inauguration knocking on doors. If there was no answer, we were certain they were on their way to the Inauguration. Thus our numbers swelled to over 10 million, including the ones in the port-o-lets.
Commence bombing."
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