My dear fellow Russians

 Dear my fellow Russians,

Suffer. Keep your mouth shut. You are lucky to bask in the glory of my wealth and power. I am getting my Mother Russia merit badge for the glory of all to see. I am surrounded by those who adore me and fear me. My people, tough luck if you struggle and sacrifice. It’s all for Mother Russia and for me, of course.

Be proud you have a leader who is willing to destroy his own economy, become a pariah on the world stage, waste the energy of the world, cause the deaths of many, cause the disruptions of many families and destroy a country.

Now that I have accomplished this great feat, do not try to call me. I will be riding shirtless on the steppes.

Your pal,

Vladimir