Bill and Mary

Dear Bill,

It’s not that I’m turned off by body hair. It’s just where yours just happens to be.

Love,

Mary

Dear Mary,

I can’t help it. Your mother’s meatloaf does taste like a combination of Spam and plaster.

Love,

Bill

Dear Bill,

Sometimes I think that you like Bud Lite more than me.

Love,

Mary

Dear Mary,

Please. It’s been more than two weeks. Please?

Love,

Bill