Dear Mr. Manliness

I don't look like Ryan Reynolds. I don't have a personal trainer to get me beach ready. I don't have the money for a Calvin Klein wardrobe. I don't look good in tight jeans. I don't have a hairy chest. But I do have a penis. Can I still be a real man?
--Just a normal guy

Dear Just a normal guy,
First, the penis. Use it and enjoy it for what it was made for and move on. Your true problem is that you are trying to be a real man for the illusion of a real man. You need to work on being a real man for real women.
--Dr. Manliness