Cute!

Those who see America as a nation in decline give many reasons for this: lack of civility, drugs, crime, violence, corruption, greed and decline in moral values. For me it's something else: CUTENESS. Of course, cuteness has it value. If babies weren't cute, the human race would be extinct.

But in contemporary America, cuteness has become an epidemic. The importation of cute-oddities from China has bolstered their economy. In America today, cuteness drives the economy. "How cute is that dress!" "How cute are those shoes!" "How cute is that picture!" "How cute is that little outfit on your dog!" "How cute is that ___________!" You fill in the blank.

Cuteness is insidious. It squashes creativity. It traps us in a pink, fluffy, shiny box. It turns the brain to mush. How many rabbits, parrots, fawns, chicks, elves, chipmunks, monkeys, dogs, cats, tigers, frogs have been cutelized to sell us anything and everything. 

What can we do about this plague? Buy only items that are marketed by mature, responsible animals. Honor colors like gray, brown, dark green and any other colors that may at first seem a bit sad. Learn to distinguish between cute and tacky, and always go with the tacky. Don't inflict cruel cuteness on pets.

And always remember: If it's cute, it's not astute.