Helloooooo there

Helloooooo there. Like you, I’m just one of those middle class sub-millionaires who works hard and likes to party. And like you, I’m tired of all this downer news about rapes, war, corruption, racism and stuff like that. Just such a drag. That’s why I was so glad that today people are talking about homemade slime, Kim Kardashian’s new cosmetic line and man bun Ken. I don’t know much about fake news, but this is certainly fun news.