The minute I gave my penis a mythological name, my life
changed. Now my future would be what I had always dreamed it would be.
The gun recoiled and the dark figure fell to the pavement in
agonizing pain. She pulled off his hood and screamed.
The CEO was sitting at his desk when a naked woman walked in
and handed him the package. He opened it and quickly began to undress.
The cockroach, big even Southern standards and missing a
leg, crawled across the floor and stopped near his foot. Should he squash the hell
out of it or make it a pet?
High and drunk, he jumped into the van and just started
driving, not knowing that one of the neighbor’s kids was asleep in the
back. Three states later he found
himself in a cheap motel with a 5-year old.
Who gets pregnant on prom night? Dumb, unprepared, horny
ex-cheerleaders, that’s who.
How did he ever become an ostrich farmer, he asked himself.
His wife had asked that same question a year ago when she ran off with his
accountant.
As a first born, you have to show up, stand up, cough up and
buck up. Hell no he said, and began a life that was unfathomable to his family.
She knew she would not be able to use her body to her
advantage forever. But for the time being, she was workin’ it.
The alligator bit his leg; the surgeon cut it off. The gator
was just doing what gators do, but he was determined to take revenge.
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