More actual conversation

In this age of too much to do. too little time, tweets and online chatter, we need time for more straight up conversation.

When we greet someone with: "How are you?" "Hello" "How's your day?" or things like that, we come to expect a one word answer: "Good" "Fine" "Okay."

To break that monotony and create more actual conversation, here are useful useful responses to those typical greetings:

I'm just longing for solitude.

My dog is bipolar.

My nipples just got hard.

I had to eat cabbage for breakfast.

I live with the shame of toenail fungus.

I dreamed I was valedictorian at Trump University.

My boyfriend got a tattoo of me on his ass.

My mother is transgendering.

Now I have two social workers and a probation officer.