Yesterday I spent an entire day with my 91-year-old dad at the nursing home where he now resides. I had been in nursing homes before, but never for this long. To realize the complexity of all these laundry persons, kitchen persons, therapists, administrators, nurses, aides and maintenance workers doing their jobs simultaneously for all of the residents so rooms are cleaned, resident needs are met, showers are given, meals are served relatively warm, individual personalities are dealt with, corridors are kept unclogged and all the other things I didn't observe.
It was a real help to me to now know exactly what a day is like for my dad, from wake up to bed time. If we live long enough, we are all likely headed there in one capacity or another. I don't think it's morbid to start to think about his. I suspect that who we are now is who we will be then. Grumpy, still grumpy. Pleasant, still pleasant. Feeling entitled, still feeling entitled. What expectations we have of family now will be the same as we will have then.
I want to prepare myself now. Will I be the lady who hums in her wheelchair all day? The man with the blank face? The resident who greets everyone with her eyes? The one who perseveres?
I don't know. But I do know I was happy I spent this whole day with my dad.
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