Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas stories to warm your heart--2014

The Maji arrived, and this year they brought a 72 inch 3-D TV. They stopped at Walmart on their way and got the last one at $99. Baby Jesus said that was fine since he never knew what myrrh was anyway.

A gangsta rap version of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" topped the Billboard charts. Said rapper Prof.X, "Santa can be a f****n badass when he wants to."

In a recent poll, 92% of kids could identify Santa, 93% could identify Rudolph and 73% thought Jesus was one of Santa's reindeer.

When asked about the meaning of Christmas in a recent survey, Americans answered:
     72%: getting what I want for Christmas
     43%: getting others what they want for Christmas
     68%: helping Disney get rich
     71%: saving the American  economy
     85%: honing my shopping skills
      8%: helping foster peace on earth

Live manger scenes were shut down in several American cities because the methane output exceeded acceptable community levels. Said officials, "If Mary and Joseph knew what we know today, that stable would have been a very different place."


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