The Maji arrived, and this year they brought a 72 inch 3-D TV. They stopped at Walmart on their way and got the last one at $99. Baby Jesus said that was fine since he never knew what myrrh was anyway.
A gangsta rap version of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" topped the Billboard charts. Said rapper Prof.X, "Santa can be a f****n badass when he wants to."
In a recent poll, 92% of kids could identify Santa, 93% could identify Rudolph and 73% thought Jesus was one of Santa's reindeer.
When asked about the meaning of Christmas in a recent survey, Americans answered:
72%: getting what I want for Christmas
43%: getting others what they want for Christmas
68%: helping Disney get rich
71%: saving the American economy
85%: honing my shopping skills
8%: helping foster peace on earth
Live manger scenes were shut down in several American cities because the methane output exceeded acceptable community levels. Said officials, "If Mary and Joseph knew what we know today, that stable would have been a very different place."
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