Why I'm a failure

As you go through life, you hold on to the hope that one day your dreams will be fulfilled, your goals will be reached, you will make it. The the day comes that that you realize you won't make it. You're a failure. This just happened to me, and here's my reasons why:

--No one has offered me a retrospective of my work.

--I don’t have, and never did have, abs of steel.

--I still don’t know how to dress myself with cutting edge style.

--I probably am familiar with at most 2 of the 50 shades of gray.

--Justin Bieber has 39 million blog followers; I have 4.

--I still think drip painting was a bad career move for Pollack.

--I’ve never read Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or seen any of the movies.

--I don’t care for foods that require more than 6 words to describe them.

--I don’t admire anyone just because they are a celebrity or have power.

--I still think trying to be nice is a virtue.