New services for kids

I recently heard a radio ad for a pet hospice service which would include aid in the pet’s passing, burial services and grief counseling. So I decided to surf the internet for other necessary services which might be4 needed. This is what I found.

Toy Heaven, Inc.

That precious teddy bear pop its stuffing? That special doll lose its head? This is an important teaching moment. Let us help your child process this life experience. We will prepare the beloved toy for it transit to heaven, prepare your child to say goodbye with appropriate books and provide any necessary counseling.

Remember, to your child, toys are people too.

SEVENTEENmos.

This informative spin off of Seventeen Magazine is filled with the kinds of articles and tips you will need to help your toddler achieve her goal of Miss Child Princess, Miss Teen America, Miss America and Miss Universe. Confused about colors and styles? Not sure about when is too soon for cosmetic surgery? Wonder which make-ups will damage the skin of 2-year-olds? SEVENTEENmos will answer all your questions and help guarantee that your child will have a life of superficial beauty.

Kid-Napping, Inc.

TV dramas assure us that at some time one of our children will be kidnapped. We provide a fool proof means to prepare for this unfortunate and stressful situation. Let us kidnap your child. We will demand a ransom (which you can set), and our fee will be 5% of the ransom. We will give you every opportunity to problem solve, negotiate and bring the event to a satisfying conclusion. We will make sure you and your child get just enough fear and stress to prepare for this eventual experience.

Kidnapping ala drug cartels, 10% extra.

American Culture

In the battle between arts and sports, sports wins.
In the battle between awe and boredom, boredom wins.
In the battle between substance and surface, surface wins.
In the battle between "I need" and "I want," I want wins.
In the battle between us and me, me wins.
In the battle between truth and spin, spins wins.
In the battle between anything and money,  money wins.
In the battle between giving and taking, taking wins.
In the battle between vitality and numbness, numbness wins.
In the battle between self-discovery and self-medication, self-medication wins. 

The Earth Is Spinning A Poem

The earth is spinning faster

Flinging things out of place

Guns into the hands of 12-year-olds

Pedophiles onto altars

Somalis to Sioux Falls.

The rich are hold up in their castles and McMansions

Their objects bolted firmly to their egos.

The poor are saving up cardboard

For the time they must beg on the streets.

The news of good deeds is buried

In the muck and shit of titillating media.

People live not by wisdom

But by the twisted tales told on their screens.

Spin spins the world

Till truth stumbles in drunken dizziness.

But hope and imagination are potent as superheroes

Sometimes sporting their own magical powers.

Why make art?

Serious art is not made to be liked. It is made to be argued about and critiqued, to be provocative, to make people squirm and open their eyes, to never give up.

Another test

If you can look at a piece of art and get all you need from it while you are listening on your ear phones and eating a candy bar, it's not a piece of art.

A test

I remember years ago during a museum visit coming upon a small Rembrandt painting of the head of Christ. I stayed with it a long while and came back to it, never forgetting it. Why? Once the gut reaction subsided, I wondered what was in that painting that acted on me? One result, this test.

When you come upon a work of art, ask yourself:

--How deeply into yourself did this piece require you to go?

--What components of self--emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, etc.--did this piece stimulate?

--Has this piece planted itself in you to keep growing there?

If the piece is successful, the artist has had to ask these same questions.

This Poem Contains No

This poem contains no statistics

No economic forecasts

No rap lyrics

No chances to win $1 million dollars

No references to expensive handbags

No variations on “fuck”

No celebrities buying unequal justice

No sex slaves

No politicians speaking for the American people

No innocent victims lying in pools of blood

No pictures of cute animal tricks

No nutritional facts

No announcements of new phone apps

No advice you didn’t want anyway

No personal affirmations

No biased journalism

No online romancing

No gay porn

No young black men in hoodies

No smart answers

No half-price tango lessons

No R rated film trailers

No anime nymphettes

No gated communities

No menu items that take 7 words to describe

No sculpted underwear models

No sitcoms with laugh tracks

No postmodern jargon

No Paris runway shows

No morbidly obese housewives in tank tops

No silver linings

No ab ex paintings

No brutally honest personal revelations

No anti-abortion rallies

No crooked cops with big bellies

No dickheads

No zombies asking directions to the apocalypse

No helpless maidens

No expensive window treatments

No eyelid rejuvenations

No bungy cord weddings

No false expectations

No advanced degrees

No means of escape

The White Cube

The department store of art, with all the accessories

A prison

A hostel for temporary travelers

A sign that says, “Art here.”

A tomb

A party spot for the usual suspects

A “must have” for the cultured

A “don’t know where” for the uncultured

A dinosaur for some

A laboratory for others

A place where you’ve “made it”

A place to be alone with art

Walls and lights and little more

Where art works talk to one another at night

I Am Art: A Manifesto

I am art. I no longer "make art" or "do art." I am art.

Of course, this is the kind of statement that brands me a heretic and eventually gets me crucified.
But, still, I am art.

I am art. I no longer make the objects or take the actions that are temporal. I no longer produce commodities. For I am art.

I am art. This is not as arrogant as it may seem. Being art is humbling and removes me from the deadly sins of ego, money, fame and celebrity.

I am not even an artist. I am art.